Back in May, I was told plainly that I didn't know myself and that I needed to take a deep look at myself and my past, and remember all that happened to me and remember where I come from. Sound advice.
Such introspection comes with its pain, but it produces honesty and integrity, and it helps me see what I have kept hidden. I'm not just talking about what I keep hidden regarding myself, but also regarding the world and even God.
God has said to me, "Imitate me", and I said to God in my dishonesty and my blindness, "I will imitate you a little, but You are too severe and not so very nice to people. So I will leave all that unpleasantness in Your hands, and I will go on singing, 'Peace, please!'."
For some, a good talking to with some attentive care is all that's needed for them to be decent people, for some, people learn goodness and true justice by reaping the fruit of the harmful seeds they've planted, for some, stern consistent rebukes are what's required for them to be consistently careful with others and themselves. But what is left when all this fails?
Those who couldn't be reasoned with through discourse have slaughtered those who've disagreed with them; those who didn't learn from the consequences of their actions have destroyed entire nations; those who've ignored rebukes have condemned the poor for being poor, beat them, starved them, and destroyed the little they do have. And if they themselves didn't do these things, their children did, for hundreds and thousands of years. God has rejected our ancestors.
What is left for such people but for me to imitate the not-so-niceness of God in the same manner of God?
Someone in heaven told me a few years ago that God will not come like a mother whipping her child. And this is true, God is no authoritarian, nor has God ever gained pleasure by taking away the liberty of any living thing.
Though it may take years, the severity of God's judgment is one and done. If all other means to lead these nations, this race, toward human decency fail, then they will receive the ass-whooping of God.
It is a one-time thing, a one-time severe lesson, a deep and single punishment, and many will not survive. It is not preferred by God which is why it is so long delayed.
Long ago, heaven chose Israel to be the first light of this world, but Israel had this nasty habit of darkening itself with its own arrogance, and so they became failure upon failure.
So heaven sent prophets to Israel to lead Israel back to human decency (justice, kindness, equity, honesty, faithfulness). This was not preferred by heaven, as a prophet's portion was (and will always be) undesirable.
To be moved into such a position with all the deep sadness, and grief, and rejection, and depression, on top of all the verbal and physical assault - it isn't a position God ever desired for anyone. God did not take pleasure in the suffering of any of them, even Christ.
But it was the last straw, the last resolution before God (through heaven) found need to come down and give a one-time, nation destroying, culture wasting, humiliating, absolutely destructive ass-whooping.
Everything you had hope in, everything you clung to for peace, everyone and everything you leaned on for support was taken away from you in an instant. You finally understood that you were helpless, alone, and so very long without God.
With opened eyes and help from above and below, these things are being made clear to me.
