A letter written to Brent on April 25, 2017:
Hi Brent.
I had always been a heavier child, teen, and adult. I experienced my first palpitations when I was in college in 1997 or 1998 - very scary for me in those days until I understood what they were. I had always enjoyed savory foods - and the fact that I was surrounded by people who were very good cooks did not make it easy. Plus there were emotional reasons, I'm sure (being gay in a macho-male authoritarian family, and the ridicules and insults that came from family and peers).
In 2008 I was informed from above that I needed to get my health together. I knew that I needed too because I could feel my blood pressure going up after heavy fatty meals - but I looked up toward the night sky and asked anyway, and received the response - but that was 9 years ago, and not today. All the partying and drinking and heavy late night eating caused me to gain a lot of weight - walking a short distance made my lower back feel like pure hell. The smoking didn't help either.
4 years later, in 2012, a red spacecraft flew over the trees and over my head while I was outside on my balcony and my heart fluttered at the same time - then multiple red-lit spacecrafts flew overhead. I knew what it meant, but didn't want to believe it. I told myself to "get it together before shit hits the fan" - and I did lose about 50 pounds and stopped smoking. But then I pretty much stopped dieting fulltime - and went on a more on again off again diet plan - at that point I was still over 300 pounds, and would go up and down in weight (while remaining above 300 pounds).
4 years later, in 2016, during the July 4th holiday weekend here in the US, I ate a large meal at a cookout (filled with burgers, hotdogs, salads, and seafood) - the day following, I endured very bad chest pains. it almost felt like something was leaking. My chest was very tight and heavy and I occasionally felt like I was going to pass out - so I kept walking around my apartment and kept walking around - I figured if I kept walking I wouldn't pass out - and I didn't. That was a bad day personally.
Over the next few days after the event, I limited my quantity of food greatly - removed much of the fat and meat, and the pain began to subside. One day, a few days later, I ate a handful or 2 of almonds and the pain came back. I tried to figure out why the pain came back after having been gone for so many days - so then I did a little googling. I read some research done by a physician Dr. Esselstyn and another physician (whose name I can't think of at the moment) [Dr. McDougall] and they're studies have shown that eating fat (regardless of source) causes the arteries to tighten. It's one of the reasons why some vegans and vegetarians have been found to have high cholesterol and heart disease (though at a much lower incidence than meat eaters). Nuts are high in fat - haven't eaten more than 3 or 4 nuts at a time since.
That was all 8 months ago. I watch my salt intake and keep my fat intake around 20 grams per day (sometimes less). I still eat meat, but much less than I used too - and make seitan, hummus, and black bean burgers on occasion. I no longer weight 300 anything - and the fact that I'm a decent cook really helps - I try to experiment with different foods sometimes. Eating so low in fat - your gallbladder must adjust to the change - and eating a high fat meal later on can cause havoc (I imagine).
You know, we can't eat as they eat and live as they do. They load salt, chemicals, and fat into everything they produce. They build only to later destroy. The only temple of God on this planet right now is your flesh and mine - we are its caretakers - and I'll certainly help you take care of your flesh in anyway you need me to. You are still here and so am I.
The heart/chest issues I had was the reason I wrote the following post:
http://www.sanctuaryforjustice.org/2017/03/to-my-lover.html
