My envy

There have been times I've been envious of others - because they can go out and do whatever it is they want to do, and they can lift their voice and say whatever it is they want to say. But then You consume my thoughts and my eyes.

I could take all the knowledge and gifts You've given me and turn them into money and wealth, but then I wouldn't have You. Because of You, I lack no good thing, nor do I have to worry about anything. Even if I did worry, I would only need to wait a little while and watch whatever it was, causing my distress, disappear. My faith was founded on Your mercy, and not the other way around as the Church taught me when I was a kid (they said I had to confess with my mouth and believe first, then You would save and show mercy - but that is not who You are; they are foolish and haters of truth, and do not realize that You are far more kind than they). Even if I left my home for good, I wouldn't worry about being burdened by the burning heat, or worry about my toes turning black because of ice and frost. Even if I was led into some godforsaken desert, I wouldn't worry about clothing or hunger or thirst, and try to take someone else's land (flowing with milk and honey) by raping and killing its inhabitants. You are with me; Your mercy is with me. I would exchange You for absolutely nothing.

The Earth does not know You, so they do not know You are holding them accountable. They do not yet understand that they will have to deal with the consequences of their actions. You require justice - making right what was made wrong - plain justice. Your words are like a boulder tossed into a lake, and the ripples are Your wrath. They will do what is obviously right, or they will perish. They will be honest with themselves, or they will perish. They are like the fat man consuming pounds and pounds of bacon; he's only a few days away from his heart attack. Many won't survive, and those who do will have choices to make; either begin repairing what they have corrupted, or die. You are blameless; though like me, they will blame You and be angry with You. Then the light of truth will open some of their eyes as they realize they were the ones putting the forks to their mouths and to the mouths of their children. Because of You, they will feel like fucking idiots and abhor what they have done.

Is there any other way at this point? You've sent a messenger to them; 40 years they've had him and only one was even remotely in a position to hear when You called.

Because of You, I do not lack any good thing, but the pleasures I lack now will be given to me 1000 fold a few years from now. In a few years, I will dance naked down the street with 50 of my ass-grabbing, pussy-popping, dick-sucking lovers, and no one will bat an eyelash (such is Your Garden, full of people who imitate Your kindness and severity).