Tweets - August 28th - Offensive

The idea of God is often so profoundly offensive to people who've left religion. I sympathize with you, even with your bitter remarks. I was raised Pentecostal, and I was told by every child, adult, pastor and prophet that I was going to hell because I found men attractive. One prophet even said that God was going to burn all fags alive in fire in the year 2000, and like everyone else in that congregation, I believed him. Only difference between me and everyone else was that I was scared shitless; I was only about 15 years old at the time (1994/95). Any remaining childhood innocence and sexual liberty I had was taken away; it was gone. So (as many can relate - even those who have not yet left their beliefs) I hated the fact that I found men attractive, and I tried to like tits, I really did. I'm pretty sure I tried masturbating to pictures of women (the internet was still up and coming) - such a waste of time, especially since I still found my way to pictures of naked men. I became a bible thumper. I became arrogant; I was right, you were wrong and I was not afraid to let you know.

But in 1999, some people above decided it was time to throw a wrench in the cogs of my life, the life of a truly sad child. I was allowed to peek. "I did not ask for this!", "I did not want it!", "I did not want to see it!", "I'm already fighting my sexual attraction and you decided to do this to me!". It was like some woman flashed me her cooch, grabbed me by the head, and shoved my face into it. It offended me, and besides one person (who I'm still close with), I told no one what I saw (at the time). It was embarrassing, and I just didn't want another reason for people to point and laugh at me.

For sake of reference, a story I've since told a thousand times: "When I was a teenager, I worked at Six Flags America in Largo, Maryland. One evening, in 1999 while walking toward the employee exit, I looked up at the stars and an odd bright star caught my eye - it simply didn't look like the rest. While walking and staring at this odd star, the star shot off in a spiral motion and flew out into space at an incredible speed. I stopped walking and dropped my mouth in complete awe. I looked around to see if anyone else just saw what I had seen, but they were teenagers, running around and playing."

Even though I was allowed to peek, it still didn't stop my engines - I just lived with that annoyingly loud banging wrench for as long as I could; but they (pointing upward) knew my engine would slowly breakdown overtime, and there was no way I was avoiding it. No rush, everything on time.

So, you see, I'm looking forward to some of you being able to peek. If the idea of God offends you or if you are still religious, you won't like it. You might not see what I saw, as you may require something different altogether, but whatever it is, it'll be just what you need at just the right time in just the right way.

Acts 22:6-7 "But it happened that as I was on my way, approaching Damascus about noontime, a very bright light suddenly flashed from heaven all around me, and I fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to me, 'Saul, why are you persecuting Me?'".

The book of Acts was written by men who were ashamed of the liberty of Yeshua (Christ), but I believe this particular story because I can relate. As bad mouthed as I was, I was no violent murderous Pharisee. So a painful blinding light was not required for me, but it was for him.