Tweets - December 28th - Lazarus

I find myself like that Lazarus character in the Gospel of Luke, where I am resting comfortably in Abraham's bosom while those across the gulf are roasting in the fires.

An important difference I'm finding between myself and Lazarus, one that I am coming to terms with, is that I can cross the gulf as freely and as often as I choose. I am able to walk as I would normally walk; I am able to care as I would normally care.

What happens is that when people see me in the midst of the fire, with a face unmoved by the flames, they think I am iron-willed and able to endure the burning pains like a strong man with a "very stoic face" (as someone said of my appearance).

But the reality is that I am not strong and I am very soft - what they see instead is me not being burned at all. And as I was told (or think I was told) a few nights ago from above, "it would take years" before some of those burning in the flames realize this.

Though this liberty is God's power and free gift, I will neither announce nor boast in my liberty in hell - traversing the flames while being unburned - crossing the gulf as often as I please.

We are as we are made to be - Lazarus and all - and if I boast in this liberty, then that stubbornness and bitterness caused by hell's fire may motivate those in pain to pick up their red-hot iron rods and strike my flesh with it until they see the weakness on my face.

Now, I am at liberty. I can continue to rest comfortably in Abraham's bosom far away from those in the flames (and it surely crosses my mind), but in doing so, I may prevent myself from being a light for God to turn on the super-high beams in hell's darkness.