Tweets - September 16th - Praise

What is a rebuke other than encouragement to pursue what is honest and good? The more necessary the encouragement, the more severe the rebuke.

Last night I experienced a subtle rebuke, it was noticeably subtle and persistent - I didn't immediately grasp it. I was thinking about the time I complemented someone on how good they made the coffee - and the subtle rebukes began. Also, 2 or 3 of the "watching" angels showed up as well as some angels of affirmation. I was rebuked 2 or 3 more times, and then I understood the message.

The issue I am having is self-praise, and more specifically (after some talks with heaven tonight) the need to be praised. It is something I recognized a little while back - envisioning myself as a fantastic singer or piano player (not receiving rounds of applause, but admiring myself as such). I recognized it but didn't put much thought into it - not until heaven brought it to my attention so that I'd make it an important matter to myself.

I've come to understand that all these things are rooted in the pain and trauma I've experienced. As long as I am being praised, I am not being judged and condemned. It is very interesting to me. As long as I am being praised, I am not being made to feel ashamed. And to heap ointment on these open wounds, I praise myself.

This may seem like a small thing, but it really displays my scabs, my bruises, and my scars. Heaven insists that I be very aware of them.

Heaven rebuked me once tonight when I became concerned about how to deal with this issue of needing to praised. (Thinking deeply, "Now what do I need to do? Or is God taking care of it?")

How quickly I forgot that I only need to recognize these things, understand them as best I can, pursue justice (pursuing what is so very good and gentle and kind and true and joyfully human), and walk by the faith given to me.