If I had to choose between you having a happy new year or you dealing with the consequences of your many bad deeds followed by the burden of the bitterness of God, I would choose the latter. If you survived, you would by physically transformed and would have one hell of a story to tell (though you may have no one to tell it to nor anyone who'd listen or pay any heed). Maybe things will be easier for you - you and thousands of others around you may crash under God's burden, and those of you who survive, and find rest in God's mercy, might be able to look left and right to see light, instead of only upward (which is my limitation).
There's no point in thinking that God is something other than what you see everyday. God has been openly honest with you. There isn't some 'better version' of God waiting for you in an afterlife.
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