Tweets - June 19th - Fighting

So I have since understood that I never ever need to fight because of fear or trepidation or anxiety, or for good or to be impactful; and in fact, I am being shown another way altogether: the plain simple upbuilding unopinionated truth, and emphasis.

I watched about an hour and a half of the Poor People's Assembly that took place yesterday in DC on YouTube, and some of it was beautiful and informative and some of the people's stories caused me to grieve.

What makes me a poor activist is that I hate fighting, always have. I'm not even talking about physical blows, I'm talking about arguing, quarreling, and sometimes competing - as an adult, it makes me tremble and shake, as a child it terrified me to sadness.

I remember when I was a kid, I was in Ocean City, Maryland with my family and their friends and their kids, and we were bowling at a bowling alley. My family and their friends and kids were having a ball, but I felt a deep sadness and I went to the bathroom and I cried and cried.

I did not like the competitive and demanding aspects of the game. I've been to a thousand bowling alleys since (I sometimes enjoy being around people that are having a good time), but I don't think I've bowled since that day in Ocean City.

So one thing I explained to heaven years ago is that I never want to be a fighter. If they wanted a fighter, they had the wrong person. But turns out, they didn't want a fighter at all, they wanted someone who absolutely hated fighting.

So I have since understood that I never ever need to fight because of fear or trepidation or anxiety, or for good or to be impactful; and in fact, I am being shown another way altogether: the plain simple upbuilding/destructive unopinionated truth, and emphasis.

Tweets - June 17th - Emphasis

Spacecrafts have been flying overhead every night I have been outside recently. (I suppose if you ever wanted to see them, now would be a good time to come sit with me, as I don't know how long this will last.)

Taking this personal deep dive has been forcing me to really pay attention to what people are saying and doing, and it is forcing me to consider their motivations (in ways I previously hadn't). A new thing is happening.

Tonight, several spacecrafts flew - some were brighter than others. A dim spacecraft flew, and I mentioned to heaven that the message from a spacecraft that is dim is just as important as the message that comes from the spacecrafts that are bright - but I remember the message longer when the spacecraft is bright with emphasis. A spacecraft became exceedingly bright in my peripheral, causing me to turn my head to look at it (it was the only one that appeared in that manner or became that bright).

You see, the message with emphasis also grabbed my attention.

I am considering myself, and where I will walk, and what doors may be opening for me to walk through. To some, when I speak, truth will stand alongside joyful hope, to others, truth will be weighty and painfully destructive - in either case, from what I've gathered tonight, I will provide emphasis as I see fit and heaven will provide emphasis as they see fit (there's nothing quite like an emphatic message from above - you are forever changed).

Tweets - June 3rd - Titties

There was a consistent message from heaven tonight, "You cannot be driven by both faith and terror."

I am a child terrorized. I was always so terrified of tomorrow. My terror from peers was never physical, it was always emotional - and I had no one to help, no community, not a single soul who would save me from my perpetual despair.

I didn't keep my tears to myself, but both my parents were terrorized as children with physically violent terror. What is emotional terror when compared to physical brutality? Suck it up, toughen up - punch a n*gga in the face if you have to.

When I was 9 years old, I sprouted my first gray hairs on my head; by the time I graduated high school, my head was sprinkled all over with gray hair.

When I was in middle school, I developed stomach pains.  What a relief!! Hospital visits kept me far away from school and away from my cruel peers.

Drinking weird tasting liquids for x-rays of my stomach and small intestines? I'll take it! Scary enema at 12 years old that turned my poop white for a few days? Sign me up!! Anything to keep me away from those people. Scared the hell out of my mother in the process.

The doctor prescribed me some pills to help with the stomach pains; found out out years later by my mother that they were placebo pills - just sugar. He knew what was up, I wonder if he recommended therapy (not that I received any).

The awful part about being a terrorized child is that they sometimes get in bed with terrorists, even as adults - just so that they stop being terrorized by those terrorists.

Now, I never became a full-on terrorist myself, I'm way too much of a weak sissy to do that, but it didn't stop me from befriending them, inviting them over, and making light of their cruel behavior.

I was called "fat", "gay", and "ugly" on repeat. Nothing worse than being a little fat boy at the pool, you find out that you have titties.

Didn't know I made little girls jealous. Was it a complement when she said my tits were bigger than hers? Was it gay when he said, "I would squeeze them, but you not a girl"?

I still feel that old terror when I take my shirt off in public. I'm considering doing it more often, I hear it may help psychologically.

I have been Kelvin in a box all this time, a box that I did not create - and not Kelvin free, though I have been set free. So the consistent message tonight was, "walk by faith, not by terror". I can do that, even though I'm sure some days it's gonna suck something terrible.

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Update, June 20, 2022:

I absolutely created this box. I created the box and the shame (whose dependent and opposite is pompousness and boasting).

No, I did not create the untreated wounds from the emotional violence; but the walls, and the defense, and the shame which forced my body to produce gray hair so young and then dermatitis - that was me (not that I had any idea how to appropriately handle these things, and be gentle and kind to myself).

So much of our cultures and our traditions are formed and sculpted by shame. There is no healing and certainly no liberty without justice; shame is injustice.

Brent Tweets - May 31st

Sunday Evening. 11:35 PM (an extended low level flyover, same GPS coordinates-it passed directly over my position. I had to look straight up to see it). 11:50 PM a brief brilliant pass (a few seconds).

The message:

I discussed my plan to become the craziest prophet while at the same time screwing everyone up by making perfect common sense while I do so.

My  angel says that is a great idea and that I should use more twitter hashtags, and do the same as I did for the wing cloud.

We had newsgroup back in those days, and my strategy was to spam them and then hope that something might stick. A lot of it has gone obsolete and vanished when modern social media appeared.

There was also a cluster of events after Midnight. 

I was visited by an angel assigned to @junyabell (Kelvin Bell). 

Never before has that happened. Here is an angel asking for help. So we talked it over. Finally it all made sense to me.

Your banner: 'from darkness to light'. 

Darkness I equate with some past #trauma.

But your banner is at best, an aspiration, your dream goal. The cruel truth is that it hurts like hell to carry such a secret for twenty years. 

You banner should read 'from darkness to trauma'

I know who you are, but I don't think you remember, so hard have you been trying to live the dream of Jimmie the Walt Disney World Singing Cricket (when you wish upon a star, you're dreams come true!)

And then no they don't.

Your Guardian Angel told me to explain to you why it is that I have refused to become involved with you or give you council. You see, I was already struggling with my own complex PTSD, and trauma victims do not good therapists make. That is just simple common sense.

Once not to long ago you said to me, 'the best I can do is poor imitation of you.' I told you to be yourself, which was worthless advice, because you don't know who you are and you are bitterly disappointed that a singing cricket does not rule the world. Oh bitter reality.

Let me share with you the secret reason why an angel chose you. They were looking for a traumatized singing cricket, a sensitive empath, who would mirror the symptoms of someone struggling with PTSD through a type of sympathetic transfer of mental illness.

Your Angel told me to let you know just how shocked I was when I saw myself reflected in you. It was an experience that did me a world of good, and made me even more resolute to get to the bottom of finding out what was wrong with me.

You were not called to be an oracle, you were called to be a mirror. 

As you know, a couple of weeks back your angel provoked you enough times to make you understand that all your oracle tweets have been erased, because you don't understand anything, typical in trauma cases.

3 times in a row your #angel told me to tell you to consider your oracles deleted, and please, your angel begged, make him stop giving oracles.

At the same time they have been showing you double and triple displays of what are beyond dispute weird aerial phenomenon #uap.

They are provoking you and they are targeting directly the ashes and dust that are all that remain of your ruined faith, after your last hope of ever being a singing cricket again were ground under a jackboot for 20 years.

Neither untreated trauma victims, people who don't know who they are, or ruined stomped dead crickets, none of these are qualified oracles. 

If you can learn to just be yourself they are offering you a job, because you don't use someone and then just throw them away.

Tweets - May 28th

A few spacecrafts flew overhead tonight, but 2 very bright spacecrafts came up over the horizon, one after the other at roughly the same speed. The one in the rear was slightly brighter than the one in the lead before they both dimmed out of sight.

A difference between those who take on the task of being angels as opposed to those who are performing some other task is that angels are often graceful in the way they fly. You don't see much go-stop-go or zig-zagging among angels like you do in folks' videos of spacecrafts.

I don't think I can even recall ever seeing them zig-zag across the sky. I've seen them be stationary and then fly, and I've seen them fly and come to a halt, but never go-stop-go-stop. Angels are graceful and intentional and careful with their "words", even when they are sharp.

"I saw an angel flying directly overhead. Another angel, a second, followed. And another angel, a third, followed them." ~ Revelation 14:6-9??

https://www.sanctuaryforjustice.org/2022/02/tweets-february-20th.html

Tweets - May 25th - Thoughts

Walking through some thoughts. Christian white Joe hates gay black Dave because Dave is black and gay. Christian white Joe grabs a rifle and shoots gay black Dave in the head. What then is justice (divine justice)? Is justice the brutal condemnation of Joe (to death), or is it the salvation of Dave (from death), or is it the salvation of them both; first Dave and later Joe?

What I see, what I know, is that Joe has no control over God's decisions. What I see is that the portion given to an innocent baby is visibly no different than the portion given to a racist homophobic murderer like Joe. No sum of extraordinary evil can dictate God's wrath, not its timing nor its severity. Religion teaches us anger for anger - do this, and God will do that - but God teaches us no such thing. God will have mercy on whom God wants to have mercy, and God will condemn whomever God wants to condemn.

If God wants to be glorified through Moscow and the CCP in this generation, then I say to Yahweh, "Be glorified!!!".

What is wrath to the starving, or the severity of God's judgment to those already struggling to breathe? Hell is known, and it aint so scary to those currently being burned by the tormenting flames.

Tweets - May 1st

Response to Brent's tweet: https://twitter.com/bkherbert99/status/1520827558450929664

My experience the past few times they've flown overhead is that they sometimes appear out of my immediate view - not always, but enough times lately for me to take notice and ask questions.

They fly behind the trees (appearing through the leaves), or they fly in my peripheral vision (sometimes shining very brightly) which causes me to look at them - both of which have happened on a few occasions recently.

At this point my brain starts churning - but not too much because (for me) speculating can be a complete waste of effort. But old questions still arise: "Is this in reference to me?", "Am I being oblivious to what's in my face?", "Should I be looking at things differently?".