Tweets - June 19th - Fighting

So I have since understood that I never ever need to fight because of fear or trepidation or anxiety, or for good or to be impactful; and in fact, I am being shown another way altogether: the plain simple upbuilding unopinionated truth, and emphasis.

I watched about an hour and a half of the Poor People's Assembly that took place yesterday in DC on YouTube, and some of it was beautiful and informative and some of the people's stories caused me to grieve.

What makes me a poor activist is that I hate fighting, always have. I'm not even talking about physical blows, I'm talking about arguing, quarreling, and sometimes competing - as an adult, it makes me tremble and shake, as a child it terrified me to sadness.

I remember when I was a kid, I was in Ocean City, Maryland with my family and their friends and their kids, and we were bowling at a bowling alley. My family and their friends and kids were having a ball, but I felt a deep sadness and I went to the bathroom and I cried and cried.

I did not like the competitive and demanding aspects of the game. I've been to a thousand bowling alleys since (I sometimes enjoy being around people that are having a good time), but I don't think I've bowled since that day in Ocean City.

So one thing I explained to heaven years ago is that I never want to be a fighter. If they wanted a fighter, they had the wrong person. But turns out, they didn't want a fighter at all, they wanted someone who absolutely hated fighting.

So I have since understood that I never ever need to fight because of fear or trepidation or anxiety, or for good or to be impactful; and in fact, I am being shown another way altogether: the plain simple upbuilding/destructive unopinionated truth, and emphasis.